Dance Music CDs

What grade would you give me on my essay for my 8th grade social studies class?

The jazz age had a huge impact on American culture. The evolution of jazz began in the 1920’s also known as the roaring 20’s. Jazz came curing era of evolution America was changing from old America to new America. Te sounds of jazz came from all over the globe. Older people in the 1920’s had trouble abiding with the new culture America brought fourth. “Satchmo” the king of jazz was why jazz made such a big impact on America’s people. 1920’s style and music evolution also influenced many other types of music. The “evolution” of American cuklture began in the 1920’s also known as the roaring 20’s. The start of the 1920’s marked the end of World War 1 and America’s evolution. The first sounds of jazz originated in America. New Orleans was the city of jazz in the 1920’s people called it the birthplace of jazz. Jazz was popular in its early days in African American communities. Without slaves being brought to America would jazz have been discovered? The roots of jazz started in Africa. Western Africans were the first to produce the first sounds of jazz in America. When slaves were brought to America they were not allowed to bring instruments but they brought their own unique style in music. Louis Armstrong created most of the frist sounds of jazz in America. Many young children followed in Louis’s inspirational footsteps. The 1920’s was the start of some color barriers being broken. Children, and the movement. Children made jazz music so popular. Children developed a new feel for music from the classical music to the upbeat sounds of jazz. The blues was very popular before jazz but not for kids, kids were into more upbeat sounds and rhythms. That is why they feel in love with jazz music. Some parents disapproved of jazz because of its African roots and popularity in African American communities. They preferred the mellow and light sounds of classical music. Dancing became the new fad fir teens curfews became later and children began to spend more and more time out of their homes. The shimmy and fox trot were big dance styles back in the 20’s. Kids were used to classic music such as ballroom dancing and the waltz not the upbeat movements of jazz. Jazz broke many color barriers between African American children and white children. Many children’s jazz groups consisted of black & whites. Children in this decade were experiencing that transition from old to new America. Women were and are the back bone of jazz they kept the movement going. Women were either backup singers or songstress. The queen of jazz is Ella Fitzgerald she was one of the first women to hit the big time. Women were not commonly seen playing instruments in the 1920’s.Black women were mostly involved in the earlier days of the jazz age. Black women were backup singers for many white songstresses; because back in the 1920’s black women were not allowed to perform infront of big white audience so they got their fame from singing behind people. The father of jazz changed America for ever. Louis Armstrong AKA “Satchmo” was dubbed the king of jazz in the late 1920’s. He was born in a poor neighborhood in New Orleans known as the battle field. Louis Armstrong played mostly brass instruments. His music teacher was “King” Oliver, King taught him how to play the instruments but he made it a style all his own. Satchmo’s music was loved by many blacks and whites children and adults. He refused to play in segregated arenas, bars, and clubs. His band consisted of 12 blacks and 10 whites. That showed American that music is music and it doesn’t matter what race you are. That set a positive example for kids and many kids started to rebel against segregation. But that didn’t change all of America. Jazz influenced many types of other music. Latin many forms of Latin music evolved from jazz. Latin jazz salsa and maranga have very deep roots in jazz. In Mexico City jazz was a big hit. All they did was add some Spanish and add a spicier beats that people could dance too easy. Even today’s hip hop was influenced by jazz. Gospel music, R&b, and soul music were also influenced by the sounds of jazz. Without jazz there wouldn’t be the wide variety of music we have today in America. Jazz made such a big impact on American culture. Children were evolving and begging to love their new found freedoms. People were begging to see that music and race don’t tie together. Women were being appreciated more and began to more things in their communities. Jazz opened doors for many African American children to have their time to shine on stage. Color barriers were begging to crumple it was the end of world war one so it was a time for celebration. Style, hair, and all changed they made a huge transition from old to new America. That was only the begging of the 20’s. If all that didn’t occur would we have all that we have today?

Public Comments

1. I would give you an A, it was very detailed and educational!! Good job!!!
2. You could easily earn a B+ or A on this essay- it's very informative and interesting. But there are a few mistakes: First of all, there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes (for example, the missing of capitalization in "World War One" [last paragraph], and "...America brought fourth" instead of "forth" [first paragraph]) that you'll have to root through and find hidden throughout the essay. Second, there are a few irrelevant phrases thrown in here. For example, (last paragraph) what do style and hair have to do with the evolution jazz created in the 20s? Music and fashion coincide today, but until the late 60s, looks didn't effect an artist's popularity. And there was just one more pet peeve towards the end- I hate it when people start or end a paper with a question. I mean, unless you've been told to do that to, "leave the reader wondering", I wouldn't find it acceptable at all. You could rephrase it to something like, "If all that didn't occur, America today might not be as we know it". If you ask a question (to me, anyways), it sounds as if you're not completely sure about what you researched. Sounding authoritative and confident can make an essay shine through the others. And again, you obviously put a lot of work into this paper, and it's absolutely wonderful. There are just a few kinks, as there are with any paper. Good luck, and hope I helped!
3. you need to clean up the typos/mis-spellings. I got to the 4th one & quit reading. I will say what I read is well researched & well written but if the typos are in the original I wouldn't give you better than a B-
4. I'm going to have to agree with the others about your grammatical errors. You have some capitalization errors,also spelling and punctuation.If your original does not contain these issues then you will be fine. I must also agree that it is better not to ask questions in your essay. These can be reworded into statements without losing the impact that you intended for them to have in the first place. I will have to diagree with Olivia,who had a very good answer,about the relevance of hairstyle and fashion to your essay.First it is not like this is being used as one of the main points of your work.Second jazz music absolutely influenced,to some point,the styles,fashion and hair of the day at least in isolated areas of America's subcultures,and was probably the beggining of music and fashion/style influencing one another. You may want to use spellcheck,but don't rely soley on that.You use the word "beggining" twice in the last paragraph and misspell as "begging" which is the correct spelling of begging meaning : to beg.As this is a correct spelling spellcheck will not catch this one. Other than these grammitcal errors your content is fine and relevent to your subject.A few repititions you could do without but these should not be a problem especially at an eighth grade level. All in all it seems well researched and in the eighth grade that carries a lot of weight in your grade as research can be time consuming and many students try to avoid it. Yahoo questions is a prime example of this as many of the questions asked here are the result of students who are mearly too lazy to do there own research.Researching material on your own is how you learn and retain knowledge. Thank you for doing your own work,and despite a few easily corrected grammatical errors this essay should bring you a grade of A easily,B+ at the very least.